Thomas Leonard was the founder of Coachville, one of the pioneers of the modern coaching movement. When He just started out I use to get some of his email updates. He died in 2003. His stuff is still timeless.
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IT USED TO BE that we humans were handed a life and life style , were told what to do and instructed on how to live properly — or else!
True, institutions and cultural pressures exist, but their power is waning as individuals realise that they are their own sandbox and source of strength and they have not just freedom, but actual choice! (Freedom without choice is hardly a choice.)
The only problem is, that few of us ever had a Goal Setting 101 or Happiness 200 or Design Your Life class. This sort of thing is just now being taught in some progressive schools, albeit sanitised so as not to offend anyone.
So, how does one design their life and lifestyle, without making the mistakes of the 50s generation of keeping ahead of the neighbors, or of the 80’s generation where acquisition, greed and flaunting one’s possessions were far more important than just being yourself.
Here are 3 things we focused on:
- Simplify what you do have until you don’t have to manage anything about your lifestyle.
When you let go, reduce, drop and stop stuff that you’ve been doing out of habit or obligation, you’ll naturally feel more free and new ideas will have some room to find you.
- Get back in touch with what you most wanted to do, or enjoyed, when you are about 6 or 7 years old and experiment that some aspect of that.
This one may sound silly, but it almost always worked with my clients. There is something that most of us gave up on at that age which is worth rediscovering. By the way, some learning experts say that children stop learning, or stop enjoying the learning process, around that age because learning turns into a performance exercise at school, with expensive consequences for non-compliance.
Changing who you spend time with is one of the best, and most immediate, ways to change your life, lifestyle, priorities and even your career. make a list of the people who you admire, would like to become more like or find fascinating. Invite yourself in and spend time with them. You’ll find yourself changing, without effort or ‘deciding.’
These 3 steps may not sound very exciting, but they work well. Especially, if you want to ease into a lifestyle and life that will make you happy and fulfilled for your lifetime.
Life Design is less about identify options and making linear decisions about where to live, how to life and what to do. Certainly, it includes these, but the first essential step in the process is for you to change, on the inside. The above 3 steps are the beginning of that process, so that when you do make those lifestyle choices, they really are coming from you.
